The tale of the Odocoileus Virginianus

A deer, specifically whitetail. I had to look up the Latin as well.

Call from an engineer on Sunday stating that he sees a dead deer in my usual parking space at the office.

I say, “Drag it out to the curb. The city will see it and haul it off. They’re pretty good about that, but they won’t grab it off our property.”

He says, “I’m not touchin’ that thing!” This, coming from a perfectly capable 40+ year old human male…

I say, “If you don’t grab it now, the coyotes will get into it tonight and there will be a mess tomorrow morning.”

My employee (who is, again, a 40+ year old perfectly capable human male) says, “If you want to drag it to the curb, you drive over here and do it. I’m not touching that thing! It probably has some disease!”

I retort, “Listen dude, I can’t make you do this, but I’m telling you, nothing is wrong with that animal other than it got hit by a truck and wandered into our parking lot to die. If you are that worried about it, wear a pair of gloves.”

His final, “I ain’t touchin’ it…”

Ok.

So I arrive around 06:00 and see the above. Chewed all to hell and back by the local, suburban coyotes. Nice. So here’s yours truly in a suit, tie, and annoying dress shoes dragging a fracking half eaten doe out to the curb. Bloody hell. Nice way to start a week.

So, why do I tell you, dear readers, this sordid tale?

Simple. It is a glaring indictment of the state of the modern American male.

and the band played on

Once again, we are treated to the same excrement, different day:

Just when one thinks American crony capitalism couldn’t hit new lows, here comes Warren Buffett and his personal puppet, the president, proving everyone wrong once more. Because if one thinks there is no (s)quid pro quo for all that “sage” advice that Buffett has been giving to Obama on extracting as much wealth as possible from future wealthy Americans (before they decide they have had enough with this crony shit and leave the country for good), one would be fatally wrong. As it turns out, it is not just natural resources and aquifer purity that Obama had in mind when sealing the fate of the Keystone XL pipeline. No – it appears there were far more relevant numerial metrics that determined Obama’s decisions. Such as the bottom line number of Buffett’s Burlington Northern, which according to Bloomberg, is among U.S. and Canadian railroads that stand to benefit from the Obama administration’s decision to reject TransCanada Corp.’s Keystone XL oil pipeline permit. ‘“Whatever people bring to us, we’re ready to haul,” Krista York-Wooley, a spokeswoman for Burlington Northern, a unit of Buffett’s Omaha, Nebraska-based Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (BRK/A), said in an interview. If Keystone XL “doesn’t happen, we’re here to haul.” And quite delighted to reap the windfalls of unfounded populist fears she forgot to add. Because while the whole “carbon-credit” multi-trillion top line expansion scheme for Goldman under the pretense of actually caring for the environment may have collapsed, it is not preventing others from trying and succeeding where even Goldman has failed.

Proving the author’s continuing mantra: “Watch the other hand.”

The chess board is bigger than you or I dear readers. Plan accordingly.